Fooled

Never trust your feelings... I'm serious.  Don't.  Not till you've weighed them against everything else.  I don't know about you but personally my head and heart are often not quite on the same page.  And thank heavens I have learned that I'm highly intuitive, cause that allows me to be more discerning with the use of my heart.  I also like to think that I'm pretty self aware.  Somewhere inside me and all my idealism is a realist.  I promise.

Today was to be "normal".  We were at the beginning of a solidified schedule for our Tuesday!  This is a big success for a mom who has her own executive functioning issues and a son that has none whatsoever!  I had solidified dinner being provided by my sister.  I had solidified a permanent sitter and arrangement for the 3 ladies (my daughters--all with different schedules).  Y'all it took a solid 6 people to just get my people to and from where they were and where they needed to be AND get us all fed!  So, when "they" say it takes a village... It truly does in our case.  I was underwhelmed by it, thinking it to be the first of likely many to be very uneventful for me as the mom.  Boy was I wrong.

We made it to ATL with no minutes to spare.  Met the new OT who was pleasant and fun.  But that involved a bit of introduction and discussion.  Potty breaks, water breaks.  Finally sat down for maybe 30 minutes if I was lucky of reading and a smidge of Premier work on the phone.  Then off for lunch break which DID at least result in a full set of the books we wanted to get the boy!! Score!  Back to Psycho therapy which immediately involved me.  I tried not to take too much time cause it is for sure for my son, but he does not report well, so the therapist relies on me currently to tell him what's going on.  And I told him.  The good days and the bad.  And we had a few of each this week.

I remembered to tell him about how my son seems lost... like he's just floating around with no direction.  Nothing that really interests him or drives him other than the things his obsessions introduce.  This has become painfully aware.  He is having less issues with odd obsessions but is getting quite frustrated and angry with his inability to redirect to a new line of thought.  I don't know what to think of it really.

Therapist acknowledged that we are dealing with a mood disorder in there somewhere... duh!  But he reaffirmed my place as the mom of the house and that my job as disciplinarian is still extremely important.  Sometimes you just need someone to validate what you already know to be right.  Then came that question... that one about how structured are his days... Y'all. DEEP deep sigh.  Ignore mom guilt... and answer was of course, "not very."  Because to be honest, I have done many a thing to attempt to insure structure, but it doesn't seem to remain consistent.

We have a weekly schedule.  It should be the same every week at least (daily is out of the question).  But everytime I turn around, my other kids in school have some holiday!  Seriously!  How can I keep our homeschool schedule when the others are missing days and all up in our space?  So schedule is Monday--homeschool math and reading/language arts on the computer (mom teaches music to preschool 10-12) Tuesday go to Parkaire all day (play math and english in app games, sometimes listen to history), Wednesday is co-op for history based art and music appreciation (observes math games) wednesday nights AWANA program at church (scripture memory program with social interaction), Thursday--homeschool at home, Friday--homeschool at home

See... not that bad.  But I'm not sure it is structured enough for him and I'm not sure public school wouldn't be too structured.  Oh the joys of not really fitting anywhere...